Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
