I got chris browned last night
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
