You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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