"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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