He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
