Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
