so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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