saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
