i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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