The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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