it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
