whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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