I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
