You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
