So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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