I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
