girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
