so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
