Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
