I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
