wat bout pragnant strippers??
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
