my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Shame - the story of my life.
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