you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
