the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
whose parrot is this?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
