There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's blow job season.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
