There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
