So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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