I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
