Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
