i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
