Need sex. Gaining weight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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