I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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