so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
