She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i barfeds in our rink
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
