Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
