You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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