Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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