They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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