Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
