so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh god the rape fog is back!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Holy shit dude........stairs
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
