He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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