ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
