Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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