Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
