I haven't been this sober since birth.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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