at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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