I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
