he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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