your room smells of hookers.
And success
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
