90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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