is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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